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The heart of a Mistress!

Your Mediocre contentment fuels my existence<the lack of judgment that your love spreads thick;clears the path for my mission of limited happiness.Giving me time to wrap his mind around my soul to make him every part of my pleasure.what a mistake to allow your lion to be lonely he roamed the dry pasture and find the mirage that i shine bright. You left the door wide open but i came in through the closed window. The mental neglect that he was unaware of yet used to allowed me to plant the seeds of greener grass.Massaging his ego takes no effort.You forgot his silly laugh and handsome smile when you grabbed your briefcase and with me thats all i see.your to tired to wash those clothes or clean his castle from your busy schedule those things have been removed.Yet when you return home these things are done with great detail cause his pleasure directs my personal commands.He has no interest in the panties you r wearing but he is all smiles...I don't have to question why...but you should just cause your were first does not mean you walk away with the prize. You left the door wide open but i came in through the closed window. leftovers in the fridge of a man that can't cook hide my contempt in the beautiful Tupperware that you did not even notice till you took a bite...lol that food was not only good to you.If attention was paid it just due you would have noticed the pounds added to his frame.The frame that has started to dress a little nicer and smell a little sweeter.All that knowledge your accruing wont make up for the lack of smarts,happiness will never be yours cause where it starts is home and...that where I am.I give him the reason to stop complaining or entertaining the falsehood of a tender home with you.Now he is contemplating leaving and you are none the wiser...lol.My lips confuse his the passion my body emanates speaks to his yearning. Whens the last time your explored his desires have you seen his new lust have you felt the new stroke?If you think he got better with time...your right my dear... mine!I am the gardener of his mind I pick pull and suck all his wants,needs,and is scared to says out and execute them with a skill that would put Jenna Jamison to shame. You left the door wide open but I came in through the closed window. No has been forced out of my vocabulary when it comes to him our bodies agree and scream yes.I bring him to his peak performance after your arguing has drained him of his being.He begs you for you time but you can't see his pain through his pride. His silence speaks in volumes I can not ignore what you say no to I beg sensually beg for.Our limited time is spent exploring what he thinks is our common interest in this time he is my king and I am his queen. You left the door wide open but I came in through the closed window. Our travels are stimulating you leave so much room for my growth everyone knows me his friends caution him about me cause my hooks run deep.The conundrum that is what we call love is mentally driven we connect verbally our souls meet for dates without our knowledge cause our body are in tangled.I have to tell him to answer your calls.I listen to his every word but the time you give him to speak does not add up to ten.You make this so easy without a care your losing at a game you don't even know you are playing and if you did nothing would change.....cause You left the door wide open but I came in through the closed window a window you thought was locked.


A walk to remember

My essence has the effect of weed in the lips of a addict,my turn around is to drive you to suicide. In between these hips are the gates of heaven which you have to prove worth of entering. My love in amazing. To engulf you is easy the membrane is thick yet runs thin. The brown truth is deep and the sounds are loud as a live band. What is it that you could want that my visions can't provide? Walks have a new meaning the fields of my skin can hinder the weak of heart, the temptation is to much. Rivers of understanding are hidden if you don't know where to look. Deep in the compounds of memories are where you can find my heart but lets not awaken the beast lets just breath. Touch is priceless it allows you to see in the eye of the fire, the feel is like a glorious hell in the middle of heaven. Touch me. Touch me here. Touch me. Imagination is so vivid so many ways to tempt your morals your beliefs. The movement of my hips can send you into sin with hells fiery,can't wait. To drive you into a new existence is my goal to show you the gate is my drive. When will you enter patience is the key to unlock the door of E. Heat fuels my zeal to take you into a new is my guide to your soul.Can you say no to the vixen within the sheep?
Openings of every shape and color pull you into the bullseye of pleasure and leave you wanting more of forever.Heat fuels my zeal you move closer with confidence I pull away with the same lol it is my game to play,how can you change the rules? Time will tell of the secrets the body holds time management is important to those who waited till the end. Time to touch, time to heal, time to feel, time to let the bounty of your desire fill the room with your wants. Hips of a adult don't lie like a child they welcome the presence of perfection to touch and heart. Naked does not come easy pulling of the soul never is this will cause pain in the meek lion of insecurities, Tame him cause he has a job to do with the fair maiden of my purity. oh how easy it is to please the center of brown truth ,just give your all and she will respond with eruption that can put earth to shame.
To shame
To shame
To shame
The earth, sun, and moon move by my emotions and they are yours for the night and will always be for the night.Do with them as you please they have no choice but to respond to to the euphoria you bring to the environment of thinking. Brown truth she is wise ,she is deep, she is loving so much more than her master. Vacationing to the beauty of her sea is expensive it will cost you your man hood in simple the Bitch will come from the core of eternity but you will welcome it as anew fixture just for tonight.Understand my plea for eternity in one night I need solitude of the mind that will only last for hours. The wholeness you feel in my warmth will only last till the break of dawn in you minds eye. Moments of weakness are all you will feel in my presence. Practice makes perfect cause getting to the core of power takes practice that you will never receive in this life time. Anger is not a feeling of the.... the love we will imagine.
To imagine
To imagine
To imagine
Push,push,push your way to the center of my hope. When will things change for your future ask and she will tell; she holds the past and present of many man afraid to ask. There are no limits if you only live up to expectations. To touch,taste,feel,hear,breathin,is to live thru Adam and Eve's eyes. To feel your being with mine is to feel truth, touch lies and not die in the light. Disappointment is not taken lightly in the noon of our doing and the rounds of my wanting are calling for a ungodly love.A love only you can give to a fallen angel in the prime of calculated sin.
calculated sin
calculated sin
calculated sin
I need your symbol in in era to magnify my majesty to complete my theory of what makes the world go round in the life.Women of all shoes and sizes try to block you from my sun but it is to bright to be hidden by temporary. remember me in your dreams in your living remember the walk.


Sweet Melody a New

visions of a new me come with the new year,but vanish with the realization of past disappointments. How do you hide shadows of visions of betrayals and neglect? How do you command the mountains of heart break to move? How do you calm the seas of regret? When do the airs of anger stop blowing?

Remember,Remembrance,Remembering,Remember, Remembered,The memories.

Play me a melody

Paradise is around the corner you say ,what corner cause pride blocks my way. Conundrum shaped confusion blinds my way. Hope alludes me in a wicked viciousness with a fiery that drops a gentle giant. Moments of happiness seem like a distant relative with candy in it's pocket, to tempt me with pedophlic intentions. Words exscape my mouth with the intent to heal , cut like a knife and bandage with salt.

Play me a melody

Remember,Remembrance,Remembering,Remember, Remembered The memories.

Visions of a new me come with a new year but vanish with the revelation of loneliness. Who will love the reactive beast in the mist of fiery. Tears of solitude kiss the lips of self loath. The birth of innocuous vividness I look like the Lord has applied pressure. I see my pimp as my truth and the beatings are mental. Avengence worse than a curcifixtion yet soft as a lovers kiss, self inflected. I am addicted to exceptance who will bring me back to salvation?

Play me a melody

I want to be whole again or was I ever really whole, who judges whole in the eye of the world? When do we start to feel and stop hurting what other emotions control us? Hope falls from the ceilings and misses me by miles when I am standing in the middle of the world. Not pretty enough, Not smart enough, not old enough, not young enough, not christ like, to judged, bad rep, two kids? Oh how I wish you were here! To play me a melody, A sweet sound to block the life from my being to stop the living, to stop the changing. TO STOP THE VISIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Not my baby

Moment of knowledge destroyed by the moment to choose without me.
Days of planning
Kisses forgotten by your choice to choose without me
hurt, hungry, wanting, loving.
Nights of bay planning to be a family.
Stopped by one choice to do it alone.
What about me how am I apart of the new life.
What will she call me,What wiil he call me.
Do we share a heart beat.
I can't impregnate I can't give life.
but the planning.......the planning.
For you to carry my child my lesbian lover for you to be my wife,for you to carry my life.
Days of planning.
You went it alone.
You destroyed the plan.
My involvement, my say, my word.
How could you reroute the plan.
Heart broken, left lonely, departed hopes.
You fucking Bitch that is not my baby.
How can I jump in at the end, how can you ask me to mother.
The plan of raising a family and having a life.
You could not wait for my life, to be my wife.
you went it alone.
Me alone,that is not my baby.
you had it with someone else, not me you took my choice.
I wanted this baby to share our thoughts.
You took it upon yourself to sleep with him.
Have his kid and leave me alone.
Have his child and not mine.

Writer's Block: James Cameron’s AVATAR

Well I have watched the cartoons and I am interested in seeing what mistakes they have made in the movie they always change the original plot. They forget major events and even major people so my eyes are ready for dissapointment or praise.

Writer's Block: Troubled waters

I run to the father's in my life number one being God, man will dissapoint or not have the right words or not have time or even judge u. God is love and he is faithful he is the creater heknows what I am built to do and how I should work. And than my daddy he is the greatest I can talk to my dad about every and anything I am so blessed to have him. Third is my BFF Melaine she is my gift from God we are so much alike and yet some different we compliment eachother she is my rock of age's. With a team like that who elsedo I need. lol

Unwanted guest

I am a 29 year old women living with three guys four including my son. I feel truly used and unappericated. I am very leanent and nice at times but now I feel like I have to put my foot down and stop this madness in my household. I wiil have a new attitude from this moment on. It does not help that the guys are my BROTHER, His cousin, and their Friend. I have taken in these hoodlums and care for their every need with out complaint but do they appreciate my efforts NO and I will not take it anymore. They use my car and don't come back on time, they leave ALL my lights on, leave the house with the door unlocked, Eat all my food, they use my towels in the bathroom to wipe their dirty hands, they clean when they feel like it, my house looks a mess I don't want to have company over, they take my money and buy weed. People I should really wash my hands so they can know how it feels and the seriousness of this situation. Then who will they run to.

My life

My life is very difficult at the moment God has my plate right now not only am I up for surgery in four days I have emotion problems. I have been devoured by the man of my imagination, meaning I built this man up in my head and gave him the qualities I wanted him to have and failed to see that it was all a dream. He was not what I wanted or needed in my life but to me he was every thing I wanted because he had some of the characteristic's I wanted in a man. Not leaving him alone was all my fault I saw who he was and did not believe him I felt like if he saw the women I was he would change his immature ways considering he was 40 years old.
God saw fit to bring out the worst in him so I could see what I was trying to get myself into and for that I am grateful. It made me wonder why do we as women try so hard for love is it or nature or is it desperation? Over the years I have been in a couple of relationship with people in and out of my age group so I consider myself knowledgeable on the subject of men.
I have found that as men mature they have a limited ability to truly love and do to this when they get their first heart break it has one of two effects. It will either destroy there views of love or it will make them obsessed with finding something that looks like it.
The first one is more popular in our day in time and dealing with this is a dramatic feat in it's self it takes a lot of work to be able to protect and feed the relationship.
I have been doing this so long just dealing with men and not digging into a solution for or relationship issues that I lose myself trying to change their hearts when only God can do so.
So now I have decided to be single for a while to truly be able to understand your wants you have to understand your needs because they may not be one in the same. So what I did was make a list one list of what I want and another with what I need and it is two different men.
On one hand I want tall dark and handsome with lots of money so I can live a fairytale on the other hand I need some one responsible level headed and easy going and knowledgeable. So when I get into some thing with a man I think has some of the traits I want and maybe one I need I get stupid where if I would wait and let God choose for me life would be so much easier. How do u know when God sends the right man......you won't have to work so hard any more. Why can't I just let this happen?


My emotional difficulties comes in the form of love ,it wears kindness on it's back like the cape of dracula. It has eye's as manipulating as the serpent,it tongue is as deceiving as the handsome face of a serial killer. It's strike is far worst than a departing first love it causes pain with it's tenderness and hides behind the holy body.It preaches multiple forms of riotousness with the same tongue that spills with venomous jealousy and gossip filled lies. It penetrates your heart with convictions that they force on you to capture your soul to live in it's world. Then repents and moves on as if salvation has a credit card. Were only ones willing to give up there common sense can subscribe. You can no longer think for yourself and if u do your salvation is null and void, and ex-communication is in your future.

......And this is what you call protection?

My emotional difficulties comes in the form of a hug. Where as many share in space is the same number that shame and threaten the one relationship you have been fighting to have.

...... All the while still with a smile; "Hello sister" what is going on in your life,you better not upset me or you will never be a wife.

My emotional difficulties comes in the clear yet deceiving form of...... ADVICE.

All advice it not bad but you have to use wisdom to pick out God's words and not the person's opinions.

Writer's Block: Name your talent

Talent if I had to choose one it would inspirational speaking so I could move the masses to take action in their lives for the better and because of the name Life coach people would listen, I could change the world. Then there is the mind reading thing but that would be for sheer personal pleasure.


my life

Latest Month

October 2010